Down the Rabbit Hole
The saddest thing about watching men grow, is the departure from motherly love to hate for the nurturing that was given. They snap when their mothers ask them simple questions, or roll their eyes when anything seems to be brought up. I mention all of this because of my recognition of the radicalization of some of the men who used to be in my life. Men who used to fit into their social bubbles, but now cannot sift through their own feelings of societal dissociation. Moving from a land of acceptance to getting swallowed whole like pinocchio. They diverge from the love and understanding of those around them and tend to disdain those that hold different beliefs than themselves. You see this type of alienation in incel (involuntarily celbibate) groups online, pinning their hatred towards women and the chads (men who sleep with women) of the world. Their hatred manifest into actual violence against women and all of this coming from this feeling of not fitting in. That the women they try to love don’t accept them for themselves. Their terrorism against other humans is not at all justified and they should be responsible for all of their actions, but its all a bit miserable isn’t it? These men fundamentally believe that they are unlovable, that if they can’t receive happiness it should be taken from those who don’t “deserve” it. These parties are particularly vulnerable to these online groups that convince them of this, and when you hear enough from the same people you start to believe it. I am not only seeing this in incel groups online but also socially with right wing conservatives believing the hate they give. Which manifests in the real world for example with Asian women pushed in front of subways or targetting Trans men and women and murdering them in the street. The things we say to each other online have real world consequences. And there is no simple cure to this ailment, but it's enough that we start to think about it and talk it through. Reaching out to people who might have fallen down the rabbit hole of hatred and instead of burning them down, reaching out a hand. Especially men who already believe themselves to be unworthy of the world they have stepped into. Intervention saves lives and might help some of these good natured people avoid the trap of sexism. Today I will reach out to those I believe need to be heard and loved and I will sit in uncomfortable feelings if I have to.
