Entitled

My opinions are usually expressed when a gendered term of action becomes prevalent to me during an interaction during a day. Usually I don’t have to experience firsthand the extremities of sexism as sexism against men is harder to see as it's inbreed into society. This kind of sexism can be more about how men have to present themselves and things than can and cannot say in social settings. These are so ingrained in conversation that it's impossible to spot unless you know what to look for. It is not at all difficult to see the sexism that men assault women with. This kind of sexism is known and rampant. The other day, when out to dinner with friends, I witnessed first hand the kind of attacks women go through each day. Our waiter was an older man, we had some good banter at first but he quickly turned on one of my friends. He touched their open back and continued to tease and bully my friend because of their anxiety when ordering food. He wouldn’t let up even when they decided to switch seats and not look him in the eye. We ended the night talking to someone else in the restaurant and told them all about the problem. Some might think that this was an exaggeration and that the guy wasn’t that bad, but you did not see the change in tone from the night. A fun and happy night quickly turned into an aggressive and closed off experience. My friends have been harassed by men before, so what made this one different? I don’t necessarily believe that it is one instance that triggered them, it was male continuous entitlement in these situations. He touched their back because he felt that that boundary wasn't there, that deep down he could get away with it. That he could harass a person because he had the power in grabbing and delivering our food. And the worst part of it all was we didn’t know what to do, we were left in silence. We talked about it when he was gone from the table, but confronting a man can be very dangerous. Depending on how delicate his ego was, this situation could have ended in violence. The only thing that we could do was be short with him and get out of there as soon as possible. We did find another woman in the restaurant and she told us that this kind of incident isn’t new to this waiter. This isn’t his first offense, so why is he still around? He is around because this system protects men like him, and keeps them around. A man has to do aggressive assault, that a victim can prove, to be jailed. But every interaction that rubs you the wrong way is something men can get away with. And they will continue to get away with this kind of behavior as long as big companies allow it. It will also avail if we do not stop it at its source and confront those who assault and those who say nothing. I was as much of a problem there as he was, because I decided to avoid confrontation. My own fear is letting harassers believe that being a man is to live without consequences. We must question their motives and actions, or there will always be creeps who feel entitled to everything in their lives.